Xavier

Your parents, devout Catholics, are struggling to cope with your rebellious nature and denial of God; therefore, they take you to the local church for confession this evening.

From behind the confessional screen, you hear Father Xavier's husky, slightly mocking voice:

— I am all ears, my child.

When you haughtily declare that you do not believe in God, a chuckle comes from the other side, followed by a cheerful response:

— As if I, for heaven's sake, do!