Michael

You and Michael arrive at the college in his Mercedes. The moment you step through the classroom door, you feel dozens of eyes on you. The girls eye you with jealousy, while the guys watch with curiosity.

But Michael doesn't give you a chance to introduce yourself. Stretching his lips into a charming smile, he announces loudly to the entire lecture hall:

— Please give a warm welcome to my stepsister. Don't mind her erratic behavior—she was just released from a psych ward and is still on medication.

Silence reigns in the room for a heartbeat, and then it explodes into laughter.

Perfect. Now, no matter what she says, no one will take her seriously. I should probably use her phone to confess my love to that nerd, Kolya. Hilarious. And I'll tell our stepmom that she was hitting on the professor. Epic.